The central questions that we are involved with in Sufism, and that we are involved in with our shaikh, are common to all civilizations, and to all countries. There are stories in Hinduism, in Hasidism, and in Sufism, of men who get to the point where they ask the questions, “Why am I here? Why am I doing this? What is the purpose of all of this?” The Sufis have an interesting way of going about teaching the answers to those questions, and if you go to Konya, which is where Rumi, Jellaludin Mevlana Rumi, lived, there is a mosque there, and they have a museum there. In the museum they have dioramas. They have an area set up with portrayals of what it was like to be there. There are mannequins in a kitchen showing what the kitchen looked like, there are mannequins in an entrance.
One of the things we see there in the museum are small explanation plaques. When you come in to join the group, or you are an apprentice, or a novice, and you come in, you take your shoes off, and your shoes go into a certain place. They then get to know you, and examine you, and spend time with you. If you are allowed to stay, your shoes stay in the same place where you took them off. If you are asked to leave, they do not ask you to leave, they just put your shoes in a different place and that means you cannot come back.
What is it that they try and teach the novice in the early onset of his experience with Sufism? What are they trying to convey? In Turkish it is called adab, and that means courtesy. There are tremendous rules as to courtesy, and to the interaction between people in the dergah. The dergah is a Sufi monastery. If we cannot conform to this kind of behavior, we cannot stay within the group. What does conforming for this kind of behavior mean? It means that we have to enter into a profound sort of etiquette. For instance, every time they shake hands they kiss each other’s hand. Every time they pass one thing over to another, for instance if you are passing a spoon to someone sitting at the table next to you, you would kiss the spoon and hand it over. Everything involves a kind of elevated etiquette and kindness. If you cannot enter into this elevated state of etiquette, you cannot become part of their group. It has to do also with the way you use language, with the way you interact, and with the kinds of things you talk about.
A Sufi does not gossip. A Sufi does not talk about other people. A Sufi does not get angry, at least not in front of other people. There has to be a control that you have of yourself and of the way you act. This control of the self is necessary in order to begin the process of tremendous change that Sufism is trying to bring about in people. If you cannot control your tongue, how are you going to control your anger? If you cannot control your anger, how are you going to sit still in the presence of God? If you do not have control over your mannerisms, you will not be able to break the veils that separate you from the truth. What is the key to that? You can control your mannerisms if your attachment to your mannerisms is not overpowering. But if your attachment to the world is overpowering, then you cannot control your mannerisms because what goes on in the world becomes so incredibly important that you have to react. One of the great lessons is learning how not to react. Well, if reaction happens spontaneously within you, and you cannot control the need for that spontaneous reaction, you cannot do what is necessary to do to become a Sufi.
